Monster with no name

When a subject of the monster is born, along with it, there, in its mind, a whole new entity resides. The subject would develop, be extremely intelligent, and be able to form meaningful relationships. But, somewhere along the way, that changes. The subject redirects its attention to more dubious actions. Hides observes and does not engage. The more and more it gets away with these actions, the more confident in itself it becomes.

You can feel it. The disconnect it bears to the rest of society. A weight only it can carry on its shoulders. The amount of confusion it takes to take someone of that caliber down the road of hell. It is not their fault. And if it is they gladly accept it.

Another thing separating them is their lack of remorse for their actions. Their eyes, expression… Blank. They will get caught, but not twice. You know what to expect from them, to crazily jump into the arms of the monster and play its evil dance. But why? Why go out of their way to commit themselves to sin?

“Can you feel it? The calling. If no one can, if no one will, then I must. For me, there is no higher honor than dying in its grasp. To be the tragedy of the system. That’s what we yearn for, right?

To ask ourselves what it was all for moments before everything collapsed on us. To live such a life. That’s why we do it.”

They say and they mean it. It is not their fault, it is not their fault.

What they do feel, is an unresolved amount of guilt. They run away from it, it exposes their human side. There is no perfect monster, everyone has a reason for it. In their roots lay the reasoning behind the monster, many of whom are scared to pull it apart. They don’t want to see it, to know themselves.

If they did there wouldn’t be a meaning behind their actions.

And to those who have tried to know themselves, to those who did spend time thinking and running it over, what other choice do they have? To give up now? No. They go big. It is something drawing them towards it. That path of unreasonable darkness. That is why this story begins with the entity within them. If it was not for it, they wouldn’t have. Once such an entity touches the hand of the dark, it is hard for it to let go. It is the only touch they can recognize, truly know. Such excitement over that forbidden handshake turns something in their brain, something they can’t just root out.

Any possible salvation after that point is long gone. They are already in love.

And they jump at that love, it unconditionally loves them back. It accepts them, their other halves.

But no such monster has finished his original task. They all die. For society’s sake, without any reason. For their own, a gladly filled coffin. What they get high off of, what they dream of, is the death at their hand, at their term. They have already lost the chess game of life, they have already made the blunder. Instead of resigning, they blow the pieces of the board altogether and angrily stomp out. A final fuck you! And they chuckle and accept it, and yet they still fear themselves. Yes, that’s right, themselves.

After they make their resolve, instead of simply carrying it out, they live with that ideological foundation at their feet. They let it give them strength to live forward just one more day because when that day comes, they know they can go all out. It is, so sad, from both their perspective and anyone else’s. It is such stupidity to base yourself on that premise. But, just when it becomes clear to them when they finally realize what trouble it is to go through with it, it is already too late. And so they die. Leaving this phenomenon behind as a failed attempt by humans to change their destiny. If we can call it that.

But there was only one who sought his desire through and made an impact. A monster that lived up to his name. The one true monster, capable of living a thousand years. Through this curse, a young man caught it early, made a clear path, and went on to win.